In the blink of an eye, it's that time of year again for school examinations (and the nerve-wracking internal assessments for secondary school admissions). Parents often feel more anxious than their children. Sometimes, faced with indifferent offspring, parents find themselves utterly helpless and utterly exasperated. Some resort to forceful measures, imposing intensive, secluded study sessions. Others exhaust every avenue, employing both carrot and stick, devising schedules that blend revision with leisure and relaxation. Others simply enrol their children in private tuition centres, delegating the responsibility to others. 

According to the theory by psychologists Kasser and Ryan, the motivations behind an individual's behaviour can be categorised as extrinsic motivation and intrinsic motivation. Extrinsic motivation refers to actions driven by the pursuit of specific outcomes, such as obtaining rewards, avoiding punishment, or gaining others' approval. Intrinsic motivation, conversely, stems from personal inner needs, such as satisfying personal preferences, refusing to concede defeat, or pursuing a sense of personal achievement. 

Listen to What Your Children Truly Feel 

Therefore, before urging your children to study, it might be wise to first discuss with them what truly motivates them to revise. 

Try having an open conversation with your children about the following questions: 

Examination-related questions: 

• How satisfied are you with your last examination results? (Assuming on a scale from 1-10, with 10 being most satisfied) 

• What are some ways that could help you perform better? 

• Are your current revision methods or arrangements effective? Which ones prove effective? Which ones prove ineffective? 

Mindset-releated Questions: 

• What is the purpose of revising? 

• Do you have any broader or more ambitious goals? 

• How does this goal support or motivate you to revise diligently? 

Providing Opportunities for Children to Challenge Themselves 

While it is ideal for children to study diligently and strive for progress of their own accord, parents can still employ certain methods to stimulate their intrinsic motivation when this is not the case. 

Firstly, parents should afford their children opportunities to challenge themselves, beginning with allowing them to set their own goals. As mentioned earlier, if children care about their exam results, they can be encouraged to set target scores themselves. If they aspire to certain rewards, parents can accommodate this where appropriate or negotiate feasible arrangements together. Once children commit to a goal they wish to challenge, they will persevere towards it, demonstrating the resilience parents hope to see. 

Moreover, when children are focused on pursuing their self-imposed goals, parents are best positioned to become their “cheerleaders”. Numerous studies reveal that children receiving parental support are more likely to succeed than those fighting alone. However, parents must understand their child's unique characteristics and adopt appropriate support methods according to different situations. Some children may prefer studying in quiet environments, while others thrive with parental presence nearby. Parents should select study methods suited to their child's temperament to aid effective exam preparation. 

Furthermore, parents should employ effective revision techniques. Some parents urge children to cover all syllabus material swiftly, often scheduling revision intensively. However, for children, attempting to memorise all assessment content within a short timeframe is not only overwhelming but also yields poor results. A more effective approach is to break down the revision material into smaller chunks, review them repeatedly, and incorporate appropriate breaks. For instance, the Pomodoro Technique typically allows studying for 25 minutes followed by a 5-minute break, as it proves more productive and helps children retain the material more effectively.

Reasonable Expectations Can Boost Children's Motivation 

Finally, parents should articulate their expectations for their children and express delight and appreciation when their children achieve relevant results. It is natural for some parents to hope their children will become doctors or solicitors in the future. However, excessively high expectations may impose significant pressure on children. Therefore, parents should communicate frequently with their children to understand their individual traits, then set reasonable expectations and clearly communicate these to their children, allowing them to feel their parents' care. Once children achieve their goals, parents should offer timely praise. Over time, moderate expectations can also become a source of motivation for children to study diligently. 

In summary, encouraging children to study is a process that tests patience and requires wisdom. By stimulating intrinsic motivation, setting personalised goals, providing appropriate support, and offering reasonable expectations and praise, parents can help their children navigate exam season and achieve desirable results. Here's wishing all parents' children every success in their examinations!