What is “self-identity”? Self-identity is a process of self-exploration and affirmation. Each of us must continually explore to clarify our own perspectives and thoughts, and to understand our place within the family, school, or society. For adolescents, the most crucial aspect is discovering their aspirations, interests, and values through self-identity, thereby building greater self-confidence and the capacity to navigate an ever-changing future. So, how can parents help their children establish self-identity? 

Have you heard of secondary school students who drift through each day without purpose, lacking any life plan or even a notion of which subjects to study or extracurricular activities to pursue? 

Or perhaps another type of student: one who studies subjects favoured by their parents and participates in activities endorsed by them, their life devoid of any active involvement in decision-making or direction-setting. 

Such examples are all too common, precisely illustrating why discussing self-identity with children is crucial. Only by understanding themselves can they find their own direction and path. 

Listening to Their Children's Voices 

In recent years, self-awareness and understanding oneself have become prominent topics in adolescent development. Particularly when young people face societal and technological shifts, they may feel increasingly adrift. Thus, helping teenagers establish a sense of self-identity is crucial. When children feel lost or confused, parents should offer appropriate encouragement and guidance, using their wealth of experience to lead their offspring in reflection and exploration. 

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When guiding their children, parents should base their approach on the child's personality, interests, and strengths. In assisting teenagers to establish self-identity, parents should act as navigators, helping their children avoid straying onto the wrong path or taking unnecessary detours. Simultaneously, attention must be paid to communication with the child. Their wishes and thoughts should not be overlooked, and parents should refrain from directly providing answers. Instead, they should seek and discover solutions together. 

Learning Respect and Appreciation 

Building self-identity is often easier said than done, requiring considerable effort from both parents and adolescents. Yet self-identity can be cultivated incrementally through subtle means. Crucially, parents must offer affirmation, encouragement, and respect. 

Affirmation involves acknowledging a young person's efforts and achievements when they independently accomplish a small task, such as delivering a presentation, cooking a meal, or completing a sporting event. This helps them gradually develop a sense of accomplishment and makes it easier for them to recognise their own worth. 

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Encouragement means actively supporting young people to try new things, helping them discover their value. This extends beyond verbal encouragement to tangible support in their explorations. For instance, when a teenager expresses interest in pursuing the arts, parents should engage with the subject alongside their child, guiding their thinking and fostering understanding. 

Respect entails acknowledging a teenager's interests and values. Even if parents harbour reservations, they should refrain from immediate dismissal. Instead, they should seek to understand their child's perspective, empathise with their viewpoint, and then offer appropriate guidance. 

For adolescents to establish self-identity, they require diverse foundations: space for free exploration, sufficient security, and robust support. These foundations are often cultivated by parents, within which young people can grow. When parents become their children's steadfast support, the children will face challenges and setbacks without fear, successfully building their sense of self.